One night, a few years ago now, my body as always longed for rest, but the alarm jolted me awake at midnight's blue, when the kids would be fast asleep. What?!? Then I remembered. I slipped from beneath flannel sheets and electric blanket into the still cold of our ancient house, looking back with longing at my soft pillow. The century-old stairs creaked as I scaled them in cloak of darkness, a tight fist about a one-dollar bill. I tiptoed through the upstairs maze, my feet dodging dressers, cast-aside shoes, and prickly, little carpet tacks at every portal. As I shivered, I smiled to myself; my mission would soon be accomplished. A baby tooth awaited me in a snack-sized Ziploc tucked under my second-born's pillow.
Carefully, carefully, I inched toward Jarred's bunk. Five feet… Four feet… Three feet away from his wee, slumbering snore... Faint
moonlight softened his little face into a deceiving sweetness. Two feet… I
reached out… And the world plunged from its axis! My legs went sprawling in
mid-air; the breath I’d been holding burst into a wild, squeal of terror. The
room shifted, rocked, rolled, and I landed in a bruising heap among more than a
thousand glass marbles. Looking up at the ceiling, I knew with icy certainty— my
favorite red-haired mischief-maker had booby-trapped the tooth fairy! Every
scene from The Ransom of Red Chief went flying through my head, as I turned red
with fury.
That night carried the real potential to send me over the
proverbial edge, though I forgave my repentant son, toothless grin and all. The
next day, black-and-blue and sleep deprived, I needed a vacation, but there was
no money for such a luxury. I calculated the cost of a sitter for the day and
decided I was worth it, but none were available. Randy will watch
the kids this evening, and I can escape. But events conspired against me, and
of course, he had to work late.
I was stuck. Stuck! Stuck! Stuck! And in the midst
of my stomping about with no glamorous place to hide from this exasperating
day, memories began skipping through my brain like popcorn. Pop! Pop! Pop!
POP! The time my creative toddlers destroyed their room. No, I really mean destroyed. As in every toy out, every stitch of clothing strewn. Have you ever stood at the door to that room? Well, I knew they couldn't clean up their mess alone – but I simply took one look, turned and walked away, shaking my head like a lunatic and babbling, "Just – clean it up." When I returned, they had cleaned it all right. Around the baseboards in perfect rows marched a baseball, a shoe, a Big Bird bank, a sock, a soldier, another shoe, baby lotion, a Fisher-Price tape player, another sock, and on, and on, all the way around the room. I sipped my iced tea and studied the two-man clean-up crew, now chasing their squealing younger sister.
POP! The morning my son, Joshua, decided to take down the chain link fence. I had never analyzed how a chain
link fence is put together, much less taken down, but my son visualized a fort
built from that section of fencing. Not only did he dismantle the section screw
by screw, he also took the garden shears and cut an ingenious doorway through
the middle of it. Would you think dull garden shears could cut through chain? I
stared at the gaping hole, thinking, My head is actually going to explode this
time. I had two choices: I could have an aneurysm, or not. Making the obvious
choice, I looked at my son and said – teeth clenched – voice low, "Put. It. Back." By sunset that evening, the section was back in place, the
center bound together with wire like a great incision.
I learned from each catastrophe. When did each shenanigan, my children pulled, transition
in my mind to an endearing memory? Finally, I sat wilting on the back stoop,
watching my kids romping in the yard, and with memories came bubbles of
laughter.
I sipped my iced tea and reflected on my life with
children. Hadn't God been good to me, after my first child was stillborn? Hadn't He whispered to me that I would have children? Me. The mom of six blessings. My heart softened. Despite my annoyance, He refreshed me. From that night forward, the tooth fairy never
again retrieved teeth from under children's pillows—making the exchange instead
at the downstairs' bookcase.
But I learned that survival is about clinging to God’s
merciful gift of humor, gracing me with the perspective to laugh at, and
occasionally even with, my children's hoodlum ways. Sometimes a restorative
vacation is just a step backwards into a few blessed minutes of hysterical
laughter.
So, pop back in time, and tell me your funny. When did humor help you survive?
So, pop back in time, and tell me your funny. When did humor help you survive?
Mornings in our lives are those fresh, new
beginnings we cherish each time we
experience God.
Oh, how to pick one? How about the time i put our one-year-old in her crib for a time out, went out to start the car so it could warm up in the Minnesota winter, and our two-year-old slid the chain and locked me out? She, of course, couldn't get it undone. And, she knew very well what she was doing. Good thing some neighbor had bolt cutters.
ReplyDeleteOh boy! That one's scary. Never underestimate a child...
ReplyDeleteOh boy! That one's scary. Never underestimate a child...
ReplyDelete